5 May Day Baseball Cards

These diamond dudes need help!

Tomorrow is May Day ... May 1 … a day we can finally semi-officially put winter behind us and enjoy our baseball without fear of snow-outs (theoretically).

But there’s already a lot of baseball behind us by this point, and there are several teams who seem just about ready to put 2023 behind them.

They need help to make this summer anything other than a wistful look ahead to 2024, or backward to whenever they were good.

Which reminds me that May Day sounds a lot like Mayday.

And that the players on some of our classic old baseball cards seem to be calling out for help.

Here are five of them …

1971 Topps B. Robinson Commits Robbery (#331)

I love this card and hate it all at the same time.

On the one hand, it shows the great Brooks Robinson in the middle of his masterpiece, the 1970s World Series.

On the other, more selfish hand, my Reds took the brunt of B. Robby’s greatness in that Fall Classic. I can’t forgive the card for that.

For our purposes here, though, Robinson is crawling through the baseball desert, searching for a drop of water. Or maybe he dropped his Pie Traynor-shaped cufflink.

1980 Topps Mike Edwards (#301)

Mike Edwards was the starting second baseman for the 1979 Oakland A’s, who went 54-108.

For his part, Edwards hit .233 with a 51 OPS+.

They both sort of fell on their behinds that summer, and this card shows Edwards in danger of doing the same, literally, there at the keystone.

He needs help from whatever big baseball magnet looms out of frame to our left just to stay on his feet.

That magnet would arrive in 1980 in the person of manager Billy Martin, who helped turn the A’s around to the tune of 83-79.

Alas, Edwards lost his starting job at 2B, splitting time with Jeff Cox, Dave McCay, Rob Picciolo, and a stuffed elephant.

1981 Donruss George Riley (#588)

The first evidence this card presents that George Riley needs help is the team designation — Cubs.

The 1980 club went 64-98, and pretty much every player needed help of some sort. To get out, if nothing else.

The second indication that Riley is in danger here is that he’s standing in the ivy jungle of Wrigley Field, apparently in the middle of the night.

Eight years (assuming the pic is from 1980), before the lights went up on the North Side.

There’s hope, though, because it appears a set of headlights have caught Riley coming out of his set.

Let’s just hope it’s not a flashlight-wielding goat.

1987 Topps Box Panel Steve Carlton (#B)

Carlton went from winning his fourth Cy Young Award in 1982 and snagging strikeout crown in 1983 to trying out for the Terre Haute Trainspotters by 1988.

In between, he made stops with approximately 47 major league franchises and appeared on this box panel card after his six-game layover in San Francisco in 1986.

He’s crying out for help here. Like, nearly literally crying.

And the Topps airbrush artist is trying to get the message out.

I mean, those depressing, drippy, dreary Giants duds are as clear a symbol that Lefty needs a hand as the “HELP ME” bubbled across Regan MacNeil’s belly.

1994 Upper Deck Fun Pack Jose Canseco (#209)

You can’t help some dudes, but you can still make fun of them.

Jose Canseco needed help with his public image almost from day one, and certainly beginning after his 40-40 MVP campaign in 1988.

But it all came to a (ahem) head in May of 1993, when Canseco was credited with an assist on a Carlos Martinez home run that bounced off The Chemist’s head.

It was something that could only happen to Jose.

And bless Upper Deck for keeping it in the hobby consciousness forever.

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Until next time, enjoy our new month, and watch out for those spring snow squalls.

And remember, if you do find yourself in a sticky (or slicky) situation, there’s probably a baseball card out there that can help you with your mayday call.

Thanks for reading.

—Adam